Marriage Through The Eyes of A Young Christian Man

I had an interview with Eziaha Olojo, this great woman of God who is the blogger behind www.eziaha.com made me feel really honoured. I am sharing again on my blog. Enjoy...

When Eziaha spoke to me and told me so many nice things about myself, I was blushing!

*Hold that thought*So what exactly did I tell Wale that got him blushing?

A lil history first. I have never met Wale physically nor his beautiful wife Toyin but they are my BBM buds.

I frankly don’t recall how I met Wale but I know it has to be on a social media site. He has also featured me on his blog here. I recall telling my hubs after Wale told me he and his family were moving to The ‘Buj that at least I am sure of ONE young FAB Christian couple we could be friends with as most of the couples I knew were, well, one kain.

We talk occasionally and he is such a man of GREAT FAITH. It encourages me all the time. Then the way he talks about his wife is absolutely amazing. Both in the little things and in the big things. He literally ‘carries her on his head’ Hahaha. I knew I would want to feature Wale and Toyin on my blog but I had yet to find the perfect time, until now.

Btw, I want this to be a regular feature, where some other FAB person(s) get to feature on my blog. Suggestions for what it should be called? Please guys.

Ok on to the ‘nice things’. They are actually ‘little things’ but every one/wife/woman knows that it is the LITTLE things that make a BIG difference.

I connected with Toyin for the first time when she was pregnant in November ’14.All my plans to visit didn’t pull through. She had just moved to the ‘Buj following her husband’s transfer from Benin. Wale had come earlier alone to prepare for her coming so she had just joined him. I imagine that she left a life behind and followed hubby. I don’t even recall what Wale and I were talking about but I guess I was trying to find out how well she was settling in especially as she didn’t exactly have people here. And he said something like‘…No, she is not working. I GOT HER A JOB to keep her busy but she decided against it because she would soon put to bed so didn’t think there was any need…’

Sounds small abi? But when you have packed your bags and followed your hubby across the Nation and are bored in a city without friends and are pregnant and home alone and the man is proactive and thoughtful enough to do the work of looking for and getting you a job to keep you busy because you don’t really know your way around town enough to job hunt, you would REALLY know what I mean. It is not so much the job but the fact that ‘my wife’s welfare and happiness is MY RESPONSIBILITY.’ Trust me guys, an average man would NOT.

Second thing was after Toyin had put to bed. Btw I love this line from his birthday message to her…

‘…I was there at the labour room when you were giving birth to our princess, you stayed strong and pushed her out without any complications whilst looking as beautiful as ever. Thank you for giving me this beautiful, feisty princess…’

Awww…

Ehen, so again I don’t recall what we were talking about but it had to do with how they were doing since Dumdum their daughter appeared especially as me I was getting set to pop, and he said something like "The work is too much for her. I am looking for a good help for her. This is like the third one we have gotten…I had to ask, but she just gave birth under 3months ago na and he was likeYes, but the first was this, second this, third that…You could just see a man that was not ready to have his wife die from house and baby work lol. Trust me, I was swooned. A lot of people don’t understand that a baby is a trailer load of work. Add house work to that and even a good woman can get depressed without any/much help EVEN IF SHE IS A FULL TIME STAY AT HOME MOM. (Any body wonder why househelps are PAID?) I for one knew Dumdum was nursing exclusively so I KNOW first-hand how much work it would have been for Toyin.

You could FEEL it, that Wale needed a good help like yesterday to relieve Toyin, and if it meant we get 50 until we get the right one, NO WAHALA!!! And he was going to be INVOLVED.

Trust me darlings, it is a HUGE deal.

It was the day he told me that he met his wife on FACEBOOK and the story behind their courtship, proposal and wedding that I knew I wanted to feature them here.

Maybe someday I would feature that story on my blog or maybe he will feature it on his own blog and I will share the link here. Wale knows how to celebrate his wife mehn

But today, I wanted him to just talk about his marriage

Enjoy, unedited…

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When Eziaha spoke to me and told me so many nice things about myself, I was blushing!

Glory to God! It still feels like a dream that I am married and I have a princess. It is a lot of responsibility but God has been faithful.

My wife is a very loveable woman, she is so easy to get along with, I believe I am the difficult one and we have our moments like all couples. I need a lot of grace when it comes to patience; I am the shouter and the horn blarer, I am the door banger with a tongue like a whip, I guess the good thing is we never sleep over any offence, we always settle. Many times I would go out of the room and she would call me a coward for running away from arguments but I always come back to the room, never liked the couch and also because I am so intertwined with my wife and daughter. I feel homesick if I am away for more than 2 days. I can’t take any job that will take me away from my family, they are too crucial and too important, no job or amount of money is worth it.

If men understand how crucial their wives are to their success, accountability would not be very hard. Jesus is married to the church, the man is married to the wife; Christ is the head of the church, man is the head of the wife. Jesus is submitted to God the Father, man is submitted to Jesus. There is a structure which guarantees a flow, Jesus loves the church unconditionally; He respects her, does the best for her and churches bloom! You will agree with me that churches today are synonymous with wealth so much so that pastors are accused of embezzlement and all that. The same way, when a man loves his wife and does the best for her, he will succeed!

One of the scriptures that have kept me grounded is Malachi 2; 13-16 (NLT)

Here is another thing you do. You cover the LORD’s altar with tears, weeping and groaningbecause he pays no attention to your offerings and doesn’t accept them with pleasure. 14You cry out, “Why doesn’t the LORD accept my worship?” I’ll tell you why! Because the LORD witnessed the vows you and your wife made when you were young. But you have been unfaithful to her, though she remained your faithful partner, the wife of your marriage vows.

15Didn’t the LORD make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his.^b And what does he want? Godly children from your union. So guard your heart; remain loyal to the wife of your youth. 16“For I hate divorce!” says the LORD, the God of Israel. “To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty,^c” says the LORD of Heaven’s Armies. “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife.”

Many men especially Christian men think that unfaithfulness has to do with not looking at another woman. Husbands need to go and read their wedding vows again to know what unfaithfulness is all about. Many men said those words but they never actually thought about what they were saying and God said He was present when you uttered those words. The traditional wedding vows read thus, ‘will you have this woman to be your lawful wedded wife, to live together after God s ordinance in the Holy Estate of Matrimony? Will you love her, comfort her, honor and keep her in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others keep you only unto her as long as you both shall live?

Can you say for sure that you are loving your wife, comforting her, honouring her and forsaking all others?

When your wife is sad, depressed, stressed out and overwhelmed because of your ignorance and the many problems you cause as a man, God is angry with you! And when your wife is happy and at peace and she’s enjoying her life, God is happy and you will feel it!

Apart from my day job and ministry as a Social Media Evangelist, I have an amazing business and I can trace it back to honouring my wife and making my wife happy. My wife needed a phone and she had never had a 18 carat gold chain before; I knew that getting her those two gifts along with all other expenses that come with having a baby and all others would turn my account to red but I made up my mind to honour her that way and she was so excited and happy. Shortly after, I started this perfume business and in 3 months I made a million from sales then I became a major distributor and now I have 8 distributors under me all of whom made their money back in a week!

All of this is done through the social media, I advertise and celebrate my customers on BBM, WhatsApp, Instagram and Facebook and whilst I sit at my desk in the office, calls start coming in, they pay to my account and I call my courier person to send to them. I make my salary in mostly 2 weeks. No stress, no wahala whatsoever, the kind of life Adam lived in Eden!

I am still believing God for many more but I have seen enough of divine provision in my life to know that God will perfect all that concerns us. If many Christian men can understand that their money can be traced to their wives’ happiness they would take them much more seriously. You could say ‘Oh I know many men who have money and treat their wives like crap’ the truth is that such men never end well. The bible is complete, it says in 1 Peter 3;7 (NLT) In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.

John D. Rockefeller who is till date the richest man who ever lived after King Solomon had this to say about his wife “her judgement was always better than mine. Without her keen advice, I would be a poor man“. Many men need to understand that the word ‘helper’ in the bible was not talking about someone to cook, clean, wash and make babies. The word ‘helper’ or ‘help meet’ in Hebrew is ‘Ezer’ which means ‘power’ or ‘strength’. So when the Lord God was saying He would create an helper for man, He was not taking about a helper like your house girl, He was talking about a superior being who would be with man to help him achieve his purpose.

If many men would discuss more of their business ideas and let their wives know how much they have in their bank accounts, they would be way more successful. Women have their downsides as well but if your wife is from God, she is a heavy weight and the faster you realise that the better for your life.

Another thing men must bear in mind is that God is transgenerational in His thinking; husbands must begin to think that way as well. God describes Himself as the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.Malachi 2;15 says; Didn’t the LORD make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his.^b And what does he want? Godly children from your union. God also said about Abraham in Genesis 18:19 I have singled him out so that he will direct his sons and their families to keep the way of the LORD by doing what is right and just. Then I will do for Abraham all that I have promised.”

God is interested in men who will lead their homes after His pattern. How then can you be building a dynasty and not have time for your wife and children? You are chasing money? The men who chase money have it all wrong! If you build according to God’s pattern, money will be chasing you! God does not want you spending all your time working and chasing money because He wants you to focus on the most important reason for bringing you and your wife together and that is to build Godly offspring that will in turn give birth to Godly offspring and the circle continues until you have built a dynasty based on kingdom principles, that is the way you can affect the world! All the troublesome people the world has today can be traced to the families where they were raised! Someone was too busy or not paying attention. You must be available to impact deliberately into the life of your wife and children.

The latest of anything is always an improved version and the woman was the improved version of the man although the man is the head, God made her everything the man was not. A woman is to a man what God cannot be to him. God was present in Eden with Adam yet He said, ‘it is not good for man to be alone’. I don’t care how successful you think you are but if you keep your wife at arms’ length, you are alone and the bible said it is NOT good!

Unfortunately, it was not Adam who immediately realised how powerful the woman is, it was the devil and in the twinkle of an eye, he had used her to wreak havoc. Ever since then, the devil’s most powerful weapon has been the woman; the Jezebels and the Delilahs and God’s most powerful weapons have been the Daughters of Zion. These are women who understand their role as wives, daughters and mothers who have used their influence with God to bless and protect their husbands, sons and fathers.

It is not easy for a superior to submit to the lesser, many men complain that their wives and girlfriends are not submissive. The only kind of man, a woman finds it easy to submit to is the man who is submitted to God. Mr Husband, Mr. Fiancee, are you submitted to God? Build according to God’s pattern of love and submission will come easily.I hope this will not bore you but this is what works for me.

****I wish we didn’t come to THE END***

No Wale, you certainly did NOT bore us. This was deep and HOT… I can’t wait to meet you and your family finally.

Oya ladies, married and especially single, please share with the men in your life.

Wale blogs the Goodnews at www.mytestimonys.blogspot.com and is on twitter and Instagram @walejana

He spreads the gospel proudly via his social media handles and his daily devotionals, told like a story are amazing.

He is also one PROUD member of COZA.

I hope this blessed you. Like I said, I would open up my blog to more godly blogposts from my readers. If you have something you think would bless us from YOUR LIFE, holler.

Suggestions? Holler too. This is a CHRISTIAN blog ooo. Ehen.

Mail as always to eziaha@eziaha.com