"I am just confused, I like Femi but I also like Jide, I can't seem to make up my mind".
Buki had been heartbroken before, she lost her virginity to Uche, her boyfriend when she was in 100 level at the university. Few weeks later, Uche dumped her and moved on as if nothing ever happened, she was so hurt that she made up her mind that she would never date just one person; she would make sure she always had a back up plan. If she had to sleep with both of them to make them happy, she would do it but she would never tell them about each other.
Buki recently finished her NYSC and both guys are proposing marriage, she's very confused at the moment because she can't seem to make up her mind. What should Buki do?
As much as women love security and certainty, any man or woman who believes that he/she should date more than one person to be on the safe side will eventually sink. Any relationship built on options cannot last! So what if you get married to boyfriend A and things don't go as planned (the fact is very few things will come out the way you planned) would you start looking for husband B or wife B?
Marriage is spiritual, man did not ordain marriage, God did! To build properly, you must build according to God's pattern. The bible clearly states what building according to God's pattern entails;
1. Pre marital sex is a sin; 1 Corinthians 6:18 (NLT) Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.
Any man/ woman that fuels your desire for sex before marriage is doing you a lot of harm. It is the devil's entry point to that relationship/ marriage. The result apart from Spiritually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) like soul ties is usually an inability to totally trust each other and respect each other.
2. Marriage involves a man and a woman, not a man, his wife and his girlfriend, not a woman, her husband and her ex boyfriend, it is between a man and a woman. Any other pattern is not of God! There are people who had many wives before they became Christians, should they chase the women away? Absolutely not! God expects such a man to be responsible and to lead his family in the way of God from that time on.
People say "show me in the bible where God says a man should have only one wife". It is in Genesis 2;24 and it says Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. The bible did not say a man shall hold fast to wives but the bible says WIFE! The bible also goes ahead to say they shall become ONE! They cannot have their hearts in many places, only in one place!
May God help us to build according to His pattern in Jesus name.