"If I knew this was your behavior, I would never have married you. Everyone thinks you are a good Christian but you are the most horrible man I have ever met, I would have chosen a drunkard and a womanizer over you"
Belinda screamed at her husband, this was the 3rd time he would beat her that week. She didn't know what to do, she was disappointed and heartbroken, she really wanted a happy marriage so she made up her mind that she would marry a born again Christian like herself and then she met Martins, he was very spiritual, he was always in church and he was very committed.
A few days to their wedding he slapped her but he later apologized, she believed that he would change because he feared God but after the wedding things just grew worse, she couldn't even tell her pastor the extent of things he does because people would think she was exaggerating, he was such a picture perfect Christian.
Many women have fallen into the trap of marrying Christian brothers who are non believing believers without taking the time to know if his Christianity has affected his behavior, ladies don't let down your guard simply because you met him in church and he is in the workforce and he's committed, there are lots of men in church who don't have a clue what they are doing there. These ones have a servant's mentality; they are working for a reward instead of seeing the big picture which is the fact that they are sons helping to promote their father's business.
How do you know know a non believing believer?
1. He doesn't do what the bible says; he will try to sleep with you before marriage, he has his own ideas of what the bible says, he doesn't listen to his pastor or spiritual authority.
2. Ego/ Pride: humility doesn't come easily to these ones. A proud Christian is a go nowhere.
3. A Critical Spirit : He criticizes everything without improving anything, he will destroy your self esteem with his mouth and actions.
4. Prayer: he finds it hard to pray. The biggest secret I have learnt is prayer, couples who pray together stay together, if you don't pray together and for each other everyday, if both of you don't have a time you fast, if there are no talks about a family altar, you may be dating a non believing believer.
5. If his family is more important than you: I will put this in capital letter: ANY MAN WHO TREATS HIS EXTENDED FAMILY BETTER THAN HE TREATS HIS WIFE IS NOT BORN AGAIN! A real Christian knows that God's plan is a family plan and because of that, he won't play with his wife and children. He must catch the revelation that you are the flesh of his flesh and blood of his blood.
I pray God helps you to discern, you will need it to choose a life partner.