This question is an offshoot of my experience. As you know, I got married very recently and we had to go through the three ceremonies; the court wedding, the traditional wedding and the white wedding. We had the court wedding on December 5, 2013 and the traditional and white wedding on February 15, 2014. Although friends and family members knew about the court wedding, many would still ask why I was wearing a wedding band. I was married but there was no acceptance until the traditional and white wedding on February 15.
Many believe that once you say "I do" either in court, traditional or in a church ceremony you are married while others believe that as a christian, God does not recognise your marriage if it is not blessed by your pastor. I would love to have your opinion on this matter. It will help a lot of people. Many men wish to get married but when they think of the financial implication of these ceremonies; they back down and begin to believe God for the big money before they make the move. These could take years. Does God really care about how you get married?
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For me the most important one is the traditional marriage where ur accepted by the parents, court also is d next cos dats wats recognised in law. For me church is optional if u dnt ave money, u can as well call ur pastor to pray for u both in the house if ur financial imcapable.
ReplyDeleteVery well said, however some people are of the school of thought that if you can raise money for court and traditional but you trivialise the church, it looks like you didnt put God first. What do you guys think?
ReplyDeleteIn Nigeria today what some in-laws in some tribes ask for in traditional engagement normally cost d groom a fortune,so jst going to the pastor for prayers is the most important part of the wedding and does nOt require to be loud, and does not mean you are not puting God first, d most most importaNt thing is that you get GOd's blessing to an ordained pastOr.
ReplyDeleteI agree but your parents may not appreciate that you rate the pastor's blessing more than theirs.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on your wedding first off... God bless your union. I am about three months older than you in marriage hehehehe.
ReplyDeleteOk I did all 3 but the truth is, if I had my way, I'll do just white and then court just for my children's sake. That's only cos my church isn't one of those big orthodox churches where church wedding certificate comes from the court (or som'in like that)
All 3 are recognized by God ooo.
In the OT, you can imagine all they did was TM.
Of course, you can't ignore the civil laws of the land hence Court.
And then for show and pictures, the white wedding.
The most important thing is you both being joined by any or all of the three and getting a Pastor bless the union. It can be on the trad day, the court day or the white day.
I know people who by choice skipped the white and no she wasn't pregnant. She just never wanted it. So after her traditional, she got her pastor's blessing and wham... Good to consummate.
So God recognizes when a servant of His has pronounced you a couple and blessed you with witnesses present wherever even if tz in ur toilet. Anything else na senrere...
U know even for igbo trad, the real marriage is NOT that party, tz d ime ego...payment of bride price. For white, the koko is that church which most people don't go to sef. Anything after that is just celebration. If you choose to carry ur wife after the ime-ego or straight from church without reception, no pee ooo. But as a Christian, have an MOG present to pronounce God's blessings.
Cheers
E'
Thank you so much E' very well spoken, I have no doubt this comment has just lifted the burden off many brothers hoping to get married. I celebrate you.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on your blissful wedding,lovely pictures you have got,sincerely am of the view that the time table of ur wedding plans is very decent,so to speak where eyebrows are raised is when Christians engaged have their court wedding say January and by June they are yet to fix a date for Trad or Church on the basis of no funds,could open up themselves to temptations of engaging in premarital sex,getting unnecessarily worked up due to pressures and the like.
ReplyDeleteBut in a situation where one experiences financial constraints,you cut your coat according to cloth,in Ibo land,when the Bride price has been paid you can have a simple traditional ceremony,go for marriage blessings with your pastors and ministers in attendance,then in all this get a date from the registry for your court marriage invite few close friends and family members.Marriage is an individual race not a societal race,there is no particular order but just to avoid wearing a wedding ring after court marriage and still be in your father's house as a sister.